So, we bought a house in Australia. It’s actually an apartment with very limited space. One would think why buy an apartment in a country like Australia where it’s all about living outdoors and having barbecues with every excuse.

My calling to Australia was a strange one. I feel actually Australia chose me than the other way around. While I didn’t have anything against Australia, I thought all the rules and regulations to enter the country was over the top.

Fast forward that thought by 10 years, my job got me an opportunity to get my family and I to this land of Kangaroos. Did I ever believe we as a family would by our own property 5 years into the process? No, we didn’t. Life is such I guess. You must never say never.

It was a challenge to find my place in Australia. My husband and daughter got the hang of Ausee style much earlier than I did. I don’t think I still fully understand why I’m here or what I’m expected to do in a bigger aspect. But I do understand I’ve somewhat found my footing. I know what I like and dislike. (Now that’s a start) … Such as an apartment in a cosmopolitan suburb like Bentleigh. Yeah, I like that. A big house in faraway land, nope not for me. Living in a highly dense one ethnic group, let it be Chinese, Sri Lankans, Vietnamese or Greeks with 60s shops and a milk bar, well not really my kind of thing.

This is the place where I talk a bit about the suburb I live in… I love Bentleigh period. It may not be every body’s cup of tea as anything in life but it felt right for me. I felt the buzz when I first stepped into this place few years ago to check out the high school for my daughter. Busy coffee shops and little boutique shops on both sides of the road, flower shops & fresh vege shops mixed with modern branded shops. Bentleigh was the real deal for me. You could see dogs of all sorts lazily strolling around every walkway. Most shops have doggy water plates outside. How cute is that! (Really like that, tick!) It’s 15 minutes’ drive max to beaches. Another big tick in the box.

I’ve believe each suburb, each building, even a train carriage has a character, just like you and me (I’m weird like that). They give out a vibe either agree or disagree. Buildings, people, roads and bus stations are what make up your life, isn’t it? It’s the way you live your day which make the way you live your life as one said. People from all over the world visit the building I work in, 333 Collins. It has an old banking hall as the foyer which has now been converted to hold events, specially weddings. You feel as if you’ve stepped back in time to a castle when you get in there. Whilst it looks grand, and makes so many people fall in love with it, it makes me feel very gloomy every morning to walk into that building. I would rather walk into a modern building with glass walls overlooking water. I guess you get my point. We’re all confusingly and amazingly different creatures. Isn’t that wonderful now?

So, the real question I had for my self was how did it take me five years to understand all this? I’ve never taken so long to realise ‘what I am’ to something. Looking back and trying to make sense of all what has taken place during last five years, I feel the answer lay in few aspects. First, I started asking the right questions from myself. I began to be honest, with me. I mean truly dearly honest. I used to tell myself that I’d be very disappointed with myself if I don’t send my only daughter to a private high school. I have always wanted that for her but it became more and more aware to me that doing so would put our family through heavy financial burden. We would only be sending her to school for the next 8 years. I asked myself if I was really ok to do that and put everything else on hold.

My husband being the most practical man he is, rightly pointed out there’s more than one way to reach 9. You could add 5+4 or 6+3, or 7+2. He helped me to realise the right demographics + a decent public school with serious & loving teachers would give us a similar outcome. Of course, not the same, but similar. It’s not the same but a valuable compromise. That realisation led me to many possibilities. We found good public schools were always located around established suburbs, the kind of ones I was attracted to (big grin) It changed the game plan totally and gave me new variables to play with. It all began by totally being honest with myself that a) I wasn’t ready to put my life on hold just to send me daughter to a private school despite I always told myself I wanted to do it… I had to be honest with myself it wasn’t in my means at this point b) it wasn’t truly that bad to not sending her to a private school as long as I covered my key criteria in secondary education. Like they say, good old days were not always good nuh? So, the opposite of it is also true… All what you feel as bad is all not all that bad always! (light bulb moment)

Secondly, I feel talking about how I felt with less dramatic, more realistic people really helped me believe I was not totally insane. I have to say, and I don’t know if you’d agree with me, we are surrounded by a very dramatic society who believes they know how to run every household. People wanting to have strong opinions as to why you’re wrong and what you should have done. I’m not talking about this lot of people. There are still a large number of very normal people who truly mind their own business and happy to lend an ear when you want them to. I found some of ‘these people ‘and started opening up. I told I felt so out of place because the shops would close by 6pm or doctors wouldn’t give me an appointment on weekends.

I was upset the internet was so slow and the modem took 2 weeks to come over post. (and it was all DIY!) by speaking to people who’s been around, lived as an expat elsewhere, I realised they too felt the same. Even locals who’ve been to other countries on job postings and now back felt some of the above pain points which made them feel isolated. It was good to compare notes and know I was not fully off. I felt these discussions were a key component which I very much needed to get through the ‘acceptance ‘ stage of my transition process.

Third & the biggest reason out of all was the time and space I allowed myself. I finally realised some things in life take longer than the others. I was going through a change which for some reason I found hard to take in, and I had to be kind to myself and allow myself to see through it. It sounds so simple, isn’t it? But I found this the hardest to do. When I look back at past 5 years, I can think of endless situations I’ve beaten myself for not having the answers. I hated for not being fast enough, smart enough or connected enough. My osteopath who is a thorough bread hard core Ausee shared with me how hard she found herself growing up in Perth and going through life’s phases then having to relocate interstate. She gave me many examples how she found hard fitting in to situations just being a local. “We’re a hard bunch to crack” she said. I believe it’s true about every culture. There is always a part of it you don’t ever get as an outsider. So, having the patience was a key.

I don’t think I’m there yet, but I believe I’m on the right track to find myself in a new land. Not only with which suburb to live in but every other aspect. I could see applying these 3 magical steps helps me get through almost anything at all. It’s been a journey worth exploring, more to find about myself than anything else.

More women than ever before are now juggling both family and work. According to a study conducted earlier this year, a global average of 54% are working mothers. That’s a pretty high number!

Let’s be frank. Sometimes we women want it all. We want the family, the career, the social life and our quiet down times. We want everything to run to our beat. Well, there isn’t a particular reason why that’s not possible. It’s all a matter of juggling, and women are pretty good multi-taskers if I say so myself!

One of the most challenging acts of juggling however would probably be that of career and family. Our family consists of the people we love most in the world, the ones closest to our hearts, the ones that we want to show the greatest love to and the ones we wish to cause the least pain to, if at all. Our career is the work we have chosen to do, to help our wellbeing, to stay connected with the rest of the society perhaps and for some of us, it may also be a calling which makes you feel fulfilled and happier as a being. In some cases it may also be that our work is simply something we need, to maintain that source of income for the family.

Whatever the reason behind the juggle, it is no easy feat. I’ve been a working mum ever since I’ve been a mum, which is more than 10 years now, and there’s quite a bit that goes into a decent mix of work and family. To be brutally honest, after my second child made an appearance I decided to stay at home to look after the children and the household in general. A couple of months down the line, I turned into a walking wreck- I could barely hold a decent conversation with my better half and all the running around with the kids was driving me up the wall.

With more than just a spring in my step, I returned to work, so glad to be able to get away from being a full time mum. Expressing my joy at getting back on the career ladder might make me look like a terrible mum, but trust me, sometimes it does get a little too much. Perhaps I didn’t have a good mix of activities to keep me going, but that’s a different story altogether!

Being a working mum, I feel there’s a couple of things (to start with) that we should probably get right and then slowly and hopefully things will begin falling into place and life will balance out (at some point, fingers crossed!). Here’s a few things I think is important to know and sort out at the onset…

• How the week ahead is going to look like in terms of the home front

Most of the preparation in balancing my life is mental and emotional preparation. This means I need to know what is happening when, so that at the beginning of that particular week, I can plan the days ahead. Knowing a day ahead that my daughter has an afterschool concert practice is something that I really dislike, but it happens and those days end up being stressful and less productive as a working mum. It really does help and ends up being a stress free week when I’m prepared for each day and its challenges.

• How the week ahead is going to look like in office

My field of work takes me all around the country. While these trips are mostly planned, there is the odd visit out of town that pops up in the middle of the week. They are uninvited and tedious, but again, things I may have to oblige to do.

• Reliable child care

In today’s day and age, child care remains a critical component of every working mum’s worries. Finding a reliable and trustworthy child-minder has never been easy, but personally I am blessed to have my parents around. They have become an immense help and support system for me to be able to successfully fulfil my many roles. If you rely on a child minder, then once you find a good one, treat them well and build a good relationship with them.

With all these in place, the week becomes easier, but once this is done, I usually plan how my evenings are spent, especially as it is so important to have quality time with the kids and husband. On most days we are all home before six in the evening, which lets us have a bit of down time and then get on with dinner and homework.

There are days when I feel I’ve not quite managed to fulfil my duties as a wife, mother and an employee. I feel like I’ve not done justice to the responsibilities I’ve been given. Those are perhaps the toughest days to get through. The days when the house is a mess, my work is not completed and we are forced to have a take-out dinner instead of the preferred home cooked meal. I think those are the times where I appreciate the support of my husband so much more. He reminds me that I’m already handling so much, so well, and it’s okay to sometimes not meet expectations, expectations that perhaps I have imposed on myself in some cases. It really does put my mind at ease to take a step back and look at how much I handle and how well I’ve managed to handle it, except for the odd day!

After a day’s work, probably the best part is coming back home to the kids. The smiles and the hugs I get from them on my return makes it all worth the while. Those moments are probably the ones where I feel like I need to be a full time mother again, because I realise how much I’ve missed them the entire day! But then, there is also this urge to succeed in my career, to be able to say, I wanted to have a career and a family and I’ve successfully managed them both!

Being a working mum, it is very important that the responsibility of running the household is balanced between me and my husband. The good thing is since both of us work, the expectations are less both ways. I don’t expect him to have done anything and he doesn’t expect me to have done anything as we are both away during the day. That’s a great understanding about the whole situation and also paves the way for equal responsibility for running the house. Well, I’m not sure equal responsibility is the correct word, but at least we both work together to run the home as smoothly as possible!

My repose after a long day which begins usually at 4.15 am (if I can wake up to the first alarm) finally comes after the kids are in bed, the kitchen’s cleaned up and I’ve managed to take a relaxing shower.

Once my head hits the pillow, I take a moment to plan my next morning in my head, so I know what to expect emotionally and mentally. I thank God for the strength He’s given me to go through the challenges of the day and I ask for His wisdom for the next. As much as it is about hard work and planning, it is also about connecting spiritually and realising you need some sort of inhumane strength to go through your day. And knowing that you have access to this is all the more encouraging.

Being a mother and an employee is not to be taken lightly. The responsibilities attached to both these ‘professions’ is immense and as immense as it is, it is also equally rewarding. There may come a time when I would finally hang my hat and say adios to the job scene, but that day is not to be seen on the horizon yet and until then I can safely say that I am happy to have a lot of variety and colour on my plate!

If you look at a woman in a rural village, with no taught skills or education, do you think you’re likely to find her huddled up in a corner of her house, powerless and unproductive or possibly working in the fields or washing clothes or cooking a meal? I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of some of the latter options, which is probably correct. So imagine, if a woman with no education and no training can play such a vital role within her family, how much more would she be able to do as an empowered woman. How much more would she be able to give back to her family and to her community?

When we say women need to be empowered, what is the aspect of empowerment that comes to your mind? Empowerment is multi-faceted and can range from economic empowerment and social empowerment to gender empowerment and legal empowerment. It is important that when we look to empower women, we aim to do so holistically to ensure there is little lacking.

If we look at edifying women in rural villages for example, the idea that springs to one’s mind could perhaps be of a relocation or moving to the city to find work or to be educated. But this is not the case. Empowerment does not have to happen in the city; it happens best in the rural villages, where women get to stay with their families, raise them right, provide for them, enjoy a good family life and still be able to work towards something that they would be able to enjoy or achieve as a personal success.

Let’s look at some of the ways that women could be empowered:

• Help them connect with each other

The power of human association is a no brainer. When women come together, talk and spend time with each other, there is much that can come about as a result of this. Creating a safe space for women to do this is essential as it allows them to talk about and learn more about their rights as women and be educated on various issues within the society.

• Teach them to read and write

With low literacy levels in most rural villages, teaching a woman to read and write would help them to read simple instructions, road signs, newspapers, labels and medicinal information. It would also add to a better rapport between the schooling children and the mother as she would be able to maybe help the child or even learn from them.

• Help them to become mobile

Mobilising could mean anything from creating betters ways for them to get from A to B to even opening up avenues where they could actually have some kind of freedom to travel. Most women in villages are held back by families who don’t necessarily let them associate with the outside world or travel outside of the village. Giving these women the chance to travel and be independent, perhaps by means of workshops conducted in nearby villages or groups they could join to learn something, would no doubt be useful.

• Encourage saving

Teaching women the art of money handling- how to spend wisely and to save more for the future is something that is vital. Most women, especially from rural areas could be in the habit of spending whatever they get almost instantly, maybe not for leisure, but for daily necessities. Helping these women to open up bank accounts and enlightening them on money matters goes a long way in empowering them for the future.

• Train them in different skills and cottage industries

By training women methodically to start small cottage industries like mushroom farming, cooking, sewing or handlooming, you slowly open up the door to empower them to reach greater heights in their businesses. There are several skills that could be taught, which if diligently learned can lead to great success.

• Make them confident

Something which is so important for the empowerment of women is to build their confidence, to let them know that they can push ahead and achieve greater things. It may seem very difficult for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but through training and mentoring they will be confident to face the obstacles on their road to success. The guidance they get will be imperative for their empowerment.

• Form networks

Forming networks within the communities would enable women to explore their avenues more. It would allow them to learn more about social issues, health issues and even financial issues which would in turn let them make better choices for themselves and their families. Today, most of the knowledge gained is through people, so it is important that meeting people and forming networks remains an important part of empowering women.

• Let them decide

Empowering women means boosting their confidence, their independence and their ability to make a decision solely based on their thinking and evaluation and to see it through to completion. This means we need to strengthen their decision making skills and how they assess situations.

• Change their health habits

Sometimes an area overlooked is women’s hygiene and the hygiene of the family. Teaching a woman better healthcare and ways to treat common illnesses including first aid would allow them to enhance their living standards and have healthier lifestyles. Another key element they need to be educated about is family planning and their reproductive rights and ensuring they have access to local health clinics is a very important aspect of this.

• Encourage leadership

By pushing them into leadership roles, women will be encouraged and motivated to do better. Not all women would perhaps be outspoken or open to learning new things, but when we show confidence in them and elevate them into positions of leading others, they would find that inner strength, confidence and motivation in them to excel in whatever they do.

Strengthening and enabling women to have dreams and goals and to see them through to reality is a great feat and a rewarding one on many levels. It is one that requires much dedication and a real passion to see women not only thrive, but be able to give so much more back towards the betterment of their families and the society.

What comes to your mind when someone says ‘like a girl’? You walk ‘like a girl’, talk ‘like a girl’, throw ‘like a girl’…. Is it an image depicting weakness that comes to mind, or is it an image depicting strength? I can almost accurately guess that it was weakness that came to your thoughts. Why? How is it that ‘doing something like a girl’ turned out to be such a bad thing?

Women account for more than 50 percent of professional jobs, but when it comes to positions in leadership, the presence of women is seriously diminished. If you take the Fortune 500 list, only 4.6 percent of women are CEOs and there’s only 14.6 percent of companies which have female executive officers.

If you really think about it though, all these barriers that women are supposedly facing cannot be accounted to restrictions in traditional workplaces. There are many instances when women are held back by nothing but their own self-made barriers.

Speaking about the possibility of having a female President, Hillary Clinton mentioned how women’s executive abilities seems to be questioned as an ingrained problem, whether referring to the political sphere or corporate boardroom.

There are several things that women themselves are sometimes fearful of. Let’s take a quick look at some of them. See if you can identify with any of these!

The issues outlined are only stumbling blocks and there’s much that women can do to overcome these and push forward. Here’s s few tips you could try, whether you’re just starting out or whether you’re halfway up the ladder:

Just be you: When I started working, I was under the impression that if I act in a particular way and show a toughness, I’d be able to get along better, and when I say get along better, I guess I meant be more successful. But I slowly realised the power of being myself and connecting with people is so much stronger than being aloof. So as I started to open up and be myself, I saw my relationships within the company grow and this brought a very simple open culture within the work environment.

Follow your instincts: The female of the species has great instincts, you can rarely contest that statement. We must be bold enough to take decisions. Calculated as they may be, everything comes with a risk, but it is important to trust your instincts and follow through. The road isn’t easy, but it leads to a better place.

Love the flaws: Well, the road isn’t easy and those things that make it difficult….well, embrace them, learn from them and push ahead. Don’t be afraid to talk about your mistakes because the lessons you have learnt from them are invaluable. Being open with them means you teach the people around you and are also able to mentor them, so they are unlikely to make those same blunders.

Do it like a woman
Being a woman in a position of leadership means the mix of talent, experience, thoughts and expertise is so much more different to having a man in a leadership role. A company’s mindset, future forecasts, thinking processes and goals can change so much when a woman takes the lead.

Research shows that amongst the Fortune 500 companies, the ones which have more women on the board succeeded in hitting significantly bigger numbers in terms of financial performance.
The question now is how do companies go about taking more women on board and making sure they are looked after well, so that in turn the company itself reaps the benefits of greater productivity. Well, the answer to that question isn’t too difficult to map out:

• Provide guidance and reinforcement
  The likelihood of a woman’s success professionally increases when they are mentored and guided.
• Let her have her family
  Being a working woman should not be a reason to not have a family and having a family should not be a reason not to pursue a career. Creating work ethics that are family friendly like flexi work hours and in house child care will go a long way in helping women to succeed professionally.
• Hear her out
  As a woman in the workplace, it is easy to be unheard with all the male colleagues gaining more coverage. Women should not feel they must just agree for the sake of maintaining their status in the office. Let them speak up and be heard, and listen to them.

Having women in the workplace isn’t a bad thing at the end of the day. They bring an array of skills to the table, including an affinity to connecting with people, providing them guidance and reinforcement, identifying needs and issues within a workplace and addressing them sensitively and juggling more than just one thing at a time.

Being like a girl may be perceived as a negative thing in the society and it may be a while before that mind-set is completely transformed, but that doesn’t mean women have to stay true to that thinking; it would be so much more fun to prove it wrong!